Homesick

Dear Diary,

Feeling so much, so a poem for today:

 The ripples in my waters when a voice hits like pebbles, 

I don't want to stop them but, I'm so quick at believing;

When I stand at the cityside waiting and it's already evening,

All the street lamps flickering, and all lanes criss-crossing,

And I can rest my shoulders upon nothing,

I can see the crowd, and no face as homesick as me, 

Even when it's futile dreaming, 

And I can't blink my eyes in case I miss it,

I don't need no million reasons just to keep waiting.

To belong somewhere I always wanted to be,

Even when it lacks all legislation, no holy prudence,

No people-friendly banners, no red stop signals,

Like an uncharted island, the tides whimsical,

No you don't need no million reasons

Just to keep trying, even when it's denying

All wise ways.

I thought I got it wrong, but it's getting prettier,

Fading sundowns, till I hear the chanticleer,

Rising and falling, when you see it's over,

But you never know if it's like last December,

That you'll survive, again.

You don't need no million reasons just to keep lying

To the faces you see in the mirror crying,

Pretending it's all okay and you're not dying,

Even when you're sitting by your own grave, then turning around,

And walking ahead.

Even when it's unlicensed driving, and a dead-end town,

Locking yourself up behind the bars, misplacing the keys,

When you find you're in trouble, in urgency,

You don't need no million reasons to keep going.

To keep believing, to keep living 

The impossible.

As and when a day seems a day, and you're breathing again,

And you count the wars you fought with your innocence,

And all the crowns and flowers and hopes you lost, now at your doorway;

As you never know if it's like the last school day,

And you'll remember it ten years hence, 

Laughing the memories away,

Playing songs all night, 

Singing along loud till it hurts your head,

As you don't need no million reasons for happiness.